Our Holiday Stress Series explores what causes these changes, how to recognize the signs, and what truly helps you feel better during the holiday season.
Conflict during the holidays is common, but what truly shapes relationships is not whether conflict happens, but how repair happens afterward. Learning how to repair after conflict allows relationships to heal rather than fracture, especially during emotionally charged seasons.
1. Pause Before Processing
Strong emotions need time to settle before resolution is possible.
Tip: Allow space before re-engaging in conversation to avoid reactive spirals.
2. Take Responsibility Without Defensiveness
Repair begins with accountability, not justification.
Tip: Use “I” statements: “I hurt you,” instead of “You made me.”
3. Validate the Emotional Impact
Understanding the other person’s emotional experience matters more than winning the argument.
Tip: Try: “I see why that hurt you,” even if you see it differently.
4. Clarify What’s Needed for Healing
Apologies alone don’t always restore safety, changed behavior does.
Tip: Ask, “What do you need from me now?”
5. Rebuild Safety Through Action
Trust returns through consistency, not promises.
Tip: Follow through. Repair is shown more than said.
Final Thoughts
Conflict doesn’t have to end relationships, it can strengthen them when handled with care. Repair is the bridge between rupture and reconnection. When done with humility and compassion, it restores emotional safety and deepens trust.
Sources & References:
The Gottman Institute – The Science of Repair
Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) Research Publications
